tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post7382701863404526967..comments2023-12-07T01:46:47.908-08:00Comments on OCD Reflections: emptinessFellow OCD Suffererhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16157849944445411960noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post-19479708815933934652010-12-13T18:59:30.794-08:002010-12-13T18:59:30.794-08:00I completely get this--it is something that held m...I completely get this--it is something that held me back from recovering from my eating disorder, years ago. When I was using ED behaviors, and miserable, I could hope for recovery. But, I worried, "What if I recover, and I'm STILL unhappy? What do I have to hope for then?" Now, I did move past my eating disorder, and is it perfect? No. Do I still get upset and have my hard times? Yes. But is it better than it was? Oh my goodness, yes. So I think with OCD it's the same...when I'm not consumed by intrusive thoughts or lots of checking/asking for reassurance, things aren't perfect. But they ARE better than when I'm in a bad OCD place. And, that "what if?" that you're worried about--even that in and of itself is partly OCD....when I notice myself asking "what if?", that's a big red flag that OCD is lurking. Maybe it's similar for you, too? Take good care....Ameliahttp://www.whatnooneknew.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post-54979226732720504472010-12-12T15:03:36.176-08:002010-12-12T15:03:36.176-08:00I totally understand this. I have struggled with t...I totally understand this. I have struggled with this lately myself and at other times in my life too when I have tried to recover...how to fill that void that comes with giving it up.<br /><br />I try to remember that our hearts wouldn't want to give it up if we didn't know that was the better way.<br /><br />"Remember that the fear of suffering is greater than the suffering itself." - The AlchemistAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post-66252627782850561582010-12-11T17:44:57.543-08:002010-12-11T17:44:57.543-08:00The cocoon of obsessions is an apt description! I...The cocoon of obsessions is an apt description! I used to fear getting better because that would mean I had to go out and save the world, and be perfect. There's something important in that idea of "making yourself do things"--it's only an illusion of mastery, of will power. I made myself eat a very strict vegan sugar-free diet for almost a year, but by the end, I was serving the diet, which is not mastery but enslavement.expwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10556989048175473815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post-4080277689450964802010-12-10T10:39:05.562-08:002010-12-10T10:39:05.562-08:00I hear you, oh goodness! I thought that starting ...I hear you, oh goodness! I thought that starting to get better would mean I could just relax all the time. But can I? No. The house still needs cleaning, even if I don't do it AS compulsively. I still go to the bathroom and have to wash my hands. I still have to do a litany of things each day to keep life running.<br /><br />But the freedom is from the mental stress. And the letting go. Thursdays are normally my cleaning day. But we were busy, and I didn't clean. No longer am I running through the list of contaminants in my bathroom sink anymore. It's okay if it waits till Tuesday. My mind is freed to listen to music and actually hear it. To enjoy sitting on the couch after a long day because I CAN and it's not because I'm running. To not have to think about what outfit to wear, to put on just whatever I feel like. Wow. There's so much freedom. Don't feel empty. Keep putting that foot one in front of the other.Leahhttp://justpluckingdaisies.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7772933038599972944.post-33151702314386746532010-12-10T06:52:27.213-08:002010-12-10T06:52:27.213-08:00Fellow - I go there too - especially with "wi...Fellow - I go there too - especially with "will life get any better? Will I be happier?" etc. I suspect that's just more OCD/anxiety wanting to know the outcome and save us from the discomfort of uncertainty. You definitely are going through a life-altering change....keep practicing the skillful way of getting through OCD and let us know how you feel in a week or so!Pure O Canuckhttp://www.pureocanuck.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com