Monday, November 22, 2010


Just thought I'd share my discomfort with the OCD blogging community, just in case anyone out there wasn't experiencing enough of their own...

So I just finished a home visit and was permitted a quick hand wash supervised by my therapist at the end of my session.  Yet, of course, that hand wash didn't seem like nearly enough to me to rid my hands of all the gross-ness collected on them from the things we did.  Maybe this isn't that gross. Maybe it's just me.  But we used rags and 409 to clean off a kitchen counter and stove top that have not been cleaned in oh, like forever.  My hands felt as if they were soaked in solution of 409, kitchen counter top debris, burned grease, and the collected film created by the gas that's burned by the stove.  We rinsed the rags out at the end, and thus, my hands were rinsed a little at that time.  But after that I was only allowed that one 30 second or so hand wash that I mentioned before.  With only two pumps of soap.  It didn't feel like enough.  Not enough to touch other things and eat something with my hands, which I am now doing.  Maybe it's enough.  Maybe not.  But it sure as hell didn't feel like it.  And I guess that's just how it's supposed to go... I guess I just have to trust my I'm out here, right this very minute, typing and eating a sandwich with my not-so-clean-feeling hands...


  1. You are so brave! I know the feeling so well! Good job - maybe one day I'll have that kind of courage. Thanks for being inspiring. :)

  2. Shana, thank you, but YOU inspire me! From what you mention on your blog it sounds like you do even more challenging exposures quite frequently. I have always been impressed by the things you face and I hope that I will have the courage to face those kinds of challenges as well!

  3. Keep on keeping on! You can do it. You are doing it. Wooo!

  4. Thanks Ann :). The encouragement really means a lot to me, especially coming from another OCDer with contamination issues!



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